From explaining what grief is to helping manage your feelings & process what’s happened, we’re here to help support you while you grieve
Coping with grief is different for everyone and grief in itself can be triggered in many ways: the death of a relative, friend or pet; losing a job, friendship, or relationship; going through a divorce or miscarriage. Even things like retirement, illness or another major life event can bring about feelings of grief.
Grief is a very personal experience. There’s no right or wrong way to grieve, and coping strategies can look different for each individual. During times of grief, it’s important to be kind to yourself and give yourself the space to grieve in whatever way is right for you.
What is grief?
Grief and feelings of loss happen to everyone at some point in their lives, usually on more than one occasion. People experience and cope with grief in different ways. Equally, when you grieve, it may feel different to the last time you experienced loss – that’s perfectly normal too.
The way you grieve may depend on several factors, including your personality, and how close you were to the person you lost, if you’re grieving the death of a loved one.
There’s no way of speeding up the grieving process or making it go away, but there may be some things you can do to help cope with the loss. We’ll explore different coping strategies for grief a bit later on.
What does grief feel like?
Grief can be very intense. You may feel strong emotions like the ones listed below. You may experience some, or all of them.
During periods of grief you may feel:
• Shell-shocked or numb
• Sad
• Overwhelmed
• Exhausted
• Anxious
• Restless
• Relieved
• Angry or resentful
• Guilty
• Lost
• Calm
Grief can also have other symptoms such as:
• Being unable to sleep
• Loss of appetite
• Difficulty concentrating
Because grief is such a personal process and there’s no ‘correct’ way to grieve, you might not feel these emotions in the order they’re listed, or you may experience feelings that aren’t included above.
Likewise, you may not feel the same emotions as someone else who’s grieving, or feel them in the same order or the same way. That’s why it’s important to be patient with yourself during this difficult time and not put pressure on yourself to grieve in a certain way, or within a set timeframe.
Grief can also feel more like a rollercoaster, with lots of ups and downs. It may feel more difficult at the beginning and generally gets easier over time, but throughout the grieving process (and even months and years later) you may still have moments or periods of time when you feel the loss more intensely.
The stages of grief
You may have heard about the five stages of grief. This theory is related to a ‘stages of grief’ model which was originally based on studies looking at the different emotions experienced by people who have been told they have a terminal illness.
While there isn’t an ‘official’ framework to grief, you might find that some or all of the below resonate:
• Denial – feeling numb or trying to carry on as though nothing has happened
• Anger – feeling angry at the situation, at yourself, or at a loved one for leaving you
• Bargaining – you may start to make a deal with yourself, or with a god if you’re religious. You may also be going over the past and wishing you could go back and change things
• Depression – feelings of sadness and longing. These can be very painful and intense, and may come and go. These feelings should become less strong over time, but speak to your GP if you feel this isn’t the case for you
• Acceptance – the feelings of pain become less intense as time passes
Coping with loss
When it comes to coping with grief, different things work for different people. It’s important to take your time, look after yourself and grieve in a way that’s right for you.
You may find some of the below coping strategies helpful:
• Accept your feelings – be kind to yourself and allow yourself time and space to grieve in your own way
• Seeing friends and family – being around loved ones may bring about a sense of comfort
• Keep up with hobbies – getting out and about doing things you enjoy can help take your mind off things, and help re-establish balance and routine
• Positive reframing – it may help to try and remember the good things about the person or thing that you’ve lost, and celebrate the things that still connect you to them
• Journaling – you might find it useful to write your thoughts and feelings down. Read our article on journaling advice
• Self-care and relaxation techniques – find out more about relaxation exercises in our article
• Speak to your GP or access the Boots Online Doctor Depression & Anxiety Treatment Service* which can help with any feelings of anxiety and depression that you may be have as a result of grief
Remember, always reach out to your doctor if you feel unable to cope, or if everyday tasks are becoming difficult because of grief.
Support with grieving
While the feelings and symptoms above can all be a normal part of the grieving process, it’s important to seek support if you feel your grief is too much to manage.
Even if you’re feeling able to carry on with your day-to-day life, you may still feel the benefit of talking to someone in order to help process your grief, whether that be a friend or family member, or an expert.
Remember, everyone will experience grief at some point, so you aren’t alone. Healing after a loss or a major life event is a journey and takes time, so be patient, allow yourself space to grieve and don’t put pressure on yourself to feel better.
Feelings of grief will ease over time and, while they might not go away completely, the pain will feel less present and you’ll find a way of coping with grieving, moving forward and adjusting to life alongside your loss.
*Access to treatment is subject to an online consultation with a clinician to assess suitability. Subject to availability. Charges apply.
2Access to prescription-only treatment is subject to an online consultation with a clinician to assess suitability. Subject to availability. Charges apply.
